Bet Series
by Tanarus
Summary: RE-up of my original fic BET SERIES. Characters make bets and it plays out. This was BEFORE my lists, and not racist, prejudiced, etc.


The Bet Series.  
  
::Insert Lame Disclaimer Here::  
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(this is a repost of the original Bet Series, which i took down)  
Enjoy, more to come.   
  
  
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~~~~KURT FANS ARE...EHH... FORGET IT, NEXT TIME  
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Episode one: Kurt at siege  
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(Two figures talking in a darkened room)  
"So the bet is on?"  
"Yeah it's all set up"  
"And you got him there?"  
"You mean the first guy?"  
"No! The second chick! Of course the first guy, idiot" ::Whaps him over the head::  
"Hey! What the hell did you do that for?" ::Hisses and bares claws::  
"Look 'tooth I'm not gonna take that shit from you, so put your damn fingernails away"  
"Fine, I'm sorry wolves" ::Backs off:: "So its a go?"  
"Yeah"  
::They shake hands…::  
"Ow! Damn it 'tooth! Cut your god damned nails once in a while, you wouldn't want me shaking your hand with my Adam's out would ya?"  
"I guess not, sorry man, after the bet's done ok?"  
"Good"  
"So whoever finishes it gets to keep the body right?"  
"Right"  
"Good, 'cause o want the blue boy on my wall!"  
"Heh, you'll have to get him first"  
"Oh I will" ::lights a cigar::  
"OK, until then…"  
::They depart in different directions::  
  
(Back at the institute, it's morning)  
Kurt: Moyning gaiz. I zpeak whiz a gay accent so I can be conzidered pheeseecly reetarzed!  
  
Charles: That's nice Kurt. We are the X-Men! We are the X-men! We are the X-men! ::Starts seizing uncontrollably, and starts foaming at the mouth:: (Telepathically: God no X-men, I'm dying!!) ::stops seizing and returns to normal::  
  
Tanarus: Well that was weird… wait a second, what the hell am I doing here???  
  
(Alarms go off)  
  
Charles: We are the X-Men! We are the X-men! We are the X-men!  
  
Charles: We are the X-Men! We are the X-men! We are the X-men!  
  
Tanarus: Are you quite done?  
  
Charles: We are the X-Men! We are the X-men! We are the X-men!  
  
Tanarus: Well?  
  
Charles: Yes, thank you, I'm done.  
  
Tanarus: OK then, ill be leaving now. Goodbye… Freak  
  
Charles: I heard that!  
  
Tanarus: No you didn't. (Glitches the Matrix)  
  
Charles: Oh, OK, I guess I didn't hear that… uhh… umm..  
  
Tanarus: OK Mr. Wizard ill be leaving now  
  
Charles: uhh… yes… that would be best for…. We are th-  
  
::Tanarus glitches the matrix again::  
  
(Professor is gone)  
  
Charles: Where am I?  
  
Bill Gates: Why right where you belong!  
  
Steve Case: With us, sweetie!  
  
Charles: Yay!  
  
(Scene returns to the Mansion)  
  
(Everything appears in green numbers…)  
  
Tanarus: Oops! ::Leaves::  
  
(Everything returns to normal)  
  
Ororo: Oh, Kurt, you got an email today, but since I hacked your account with the sub seven virus I infected your computer with, I read it and was going to fake it out with you, but my conscience made me tell you. I guess I'm just not a hacker… ::Goes back to watering her plants::  
  
Kurt: Hoo vood send a message to a reetard laik me?  
  
Ororo: Regis Philbin  
  
Kurt: Oh… ?_?  
  
Ororo: Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?  
  
Kurt: I do!  
  
Ororo: Never mind. Just go to the corner of Mutilation Street and You'reGonnaDie place, and someone will meet you there. I think it may even be two people, just for you.  
  
Kurt: Yay!  
  
(Kurt rushes off)  
  
(Tanarus and Logan step out of the shadows)  
  
Tanarus: Does he know, bub?  
  
Ororo: Hey don't call me that!  
  
Logan: And that's my line!  
  
Tanarus: Not anymore (glitches)  
  
Logan: OK master. By the way, may I please spit shine your boots?  
  
::Tanarus smiles::  
  
  
  
(SCENE: Mutilation Street and You'reGonnaDie Place)  
  
::Kurt arrives::  
  
Kurt: Vere eez zis Reeegiz Philbin?  
  
Sabretooth: Right here, bitch!  
  
Logan: and I'm his assistant… uhh… um…   
  
Kurt: What do you want? (He says conveniently saving the author from thinking of a cool line)  
  
Sabretooth: To maim you and watch your guts spill out, then we make worm chops!  
  
Kurt: EEP  
  
::Logan and Sabretooth jump him::  
  
{{{AN EPIC BATTLE ENSUES}}}  
  
(3 minutes later)  
  
Logan: MMM. Nightcrawler soup is delicious and nutritious!  
  
Sabretooth: well since we killed him at the same time lets just finish the whole body together  
  
(7 minutes later)  
  
Sabretooth (picking his teeth with a bone): Say, you think anyone will miss him?  
  
Logan: Nahh, they're too full  
  
(camera pans too see whole cast of x-men evolution eating Kurt)  
  
Fred: MMM entrails! ::Slurps Nightcrawlers' small intestine::  
  
  
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Flames are accepted and readily dissed. If you dont like it, you can suck it...  
::makes a crotch chop::  
  
  
R&R 


End file.
